Being A Working Mom Is Like Being Henry Hill

Today I am Henry Hill. Maybe not the real gangster but the version Ray Liotta played in Goodfellas, the 1990 film directed by Martin Scorsese about a real life person, Henry Hill, who got himself involved in the mafia.

If you have seen the movie, you may recall the scene just before Hill is nabbed by the narcs. He has the type of day I feel like I have (and likely you too) almost every day. Let me summarize the Goodfellas scene for you then I will describe one of my “Henry Hill” days and you can judge for yourself.

Image source: http://thisdistractedglobe.com/2007/03/07/goodfellas-1990/

Scene from Good Fellas: Henry Hill

6:55 a.m.

Getting ready for a busy day. First, he has to drop guns off at Jimmy’s (who asked for them to fit a set of silencers).

Loads guns (in a paper bag). Notices there is a helicopter following him.

Gets to Jimmy’s, he doesn’t want the guns. Henry takes the guns back, puts them in his trunk.

8:05 a.m.

On his way to pick up his disabled brother, Michael, from the hospital, he almost crashes his car because he is so strung out.

8:45 a.m.

Michael’s doctor takes one look at Henry and pulls him in for a check up. He takes pity on Henry, gives him two valium and sends him on his way.

On the way back home, he notices the helicopter following him again.

11:30 a.m.

Henry is cooking a big meal for the family so he braises pork and veal shanks, makes the gravy, roasts peppers and makes some pork cutlets for an appetizer. He is starting dinner early so he can unload the guns and get the Pittsburg stuff (cocaine that he will need to get ready for his mule, Lois, to take on a plane later that night).

He asks Michael to watch dinner then he and his wife Karen head out. They see the copter again so they turn into Karen’s mother’s house to hide the guns and lay low for a while until it’s all clear.

1:30 p.m.

Henry and Karen see the copter again and hide out in a store. Then they go back to Karen’s mother’s place to pick up the guns.

3:30 p.m.

Henry and Karen go to meet the Pittsburgh connection, they sell the guns and pick up the drugs. Henry then calls home to get things ready for Lois to fly and to check on dinner. “Make sure Michael is stirring the sauce and don’t use the house phone.”

6:30 p.m.

Henry gets dinner ready then takes the drugs to his girlfriend Sandy’s house to cut and bag them.

10:45 p.m.

Dinner is over and Henry is getting Lois ready to fly the packages to Atlanta. She says “I gotta go home and get my hat. It’s my lucky hat and I never fly without it.” As Henry backs out of the driveway to take Lois home to get her lucky hat, he is stopped by the police and taken into custody.

Now Let’s Look At My Day

1:17 a.m.

Harper, three, gets up (I know because my UP4 band told me) and proceeds to crawl into our bed. My husband and I have tried this before and inevitably neither of can sleep with her in our bed. She is not a good bed mate.

I drag her back to her (twin) bed. And she won’t go back to sleep unless mommy is in bed with her so I make like a matchstick and squeeze in.

3:30 a.m.

A couple hours of restless sleep and a back ache later, I collapse back into my own bed at 3:30 a.m. After what feels like a microsecond the alarm goes off.

6:00 a.m.

Up I get (after a few snoozes) and go downstairs to do a bit of yoga. Since my third child was born I have been in a perpetual state of what I call “yoga deprivation.” I am not being precious with this. I actually disliked yoga when I first tried it until I started over again with a pre-natal version of it when I was pregnant with my second. I have found that the older I get and the more aches and pains show up, the more I need yoga practice but alas, it’s been elusive.

Okay back to the start of the day. A bit of yoga, good. A bit of coffee, better. Then time to get ready. By this time Harper gets up and is ready for a nice Saturday morning routine (hang out in PJs, graze all morning and watch TV). But it’s Wednesday and not any old Wednesday, we have lots going on.

8:15 a.m.

Drop my older girls (14 and 12) at the orthodontist then swing down the street for Harper’s doctor’s appointment.

8:30 a.m.

Harper has her doctor’s appointment.

9:15 a.m.

Swing back to the orthodontist and grab the big girls

9:30 a.m.

Quick Target run to get pull ups for Harper (three years old and not quite potty trained…sigh)

9:45 a.m.

Drop Harper off at preschool with the pull ups.

And That Was Before 10AM!

10:04 a.m.

Jump on my 10 a.m. conference call. Note my two oldest were still in the car, it was summer so they didn’t have to go to school, just back home.

Thankfully, I was the first person on the call. Isn’t it a blessing when you are late to a call but the other person is later? Did I mention just as the other person was getting on the call I was yelling at my middle child for scratching my oldest (I could see the raised lines all up and down her arm). Literally one second I was yelling at my kid and the next, I was in a negotiation with human resources (HR).

The call was short (got what I wanted in about 10 minutes). So by the time I dropped off the big girls at home, I was off the phone and of course directing their day as they were getting out of the car. When I looked left as I was backing out, our gardener appeared so then a conversation followed on what was going to happen with the hostas.

10:15 a.m.

Head to work for my 10:30 a.m. meeting.

10:30 a.m.

Had to send two more emails – personal stuff for the kids.

10:34

Joined my 10:30 a.m. meeting this time I was not the first to join…sigh.

10:45 a.m.

Meeting interrupted by by a call from Home Depot – “we are ready to measure your downstairs for the carpet you ordered.” “I will be there as soon as I can.”

11:15 a.m.

Head home to let the Home Depot person in to measure the downstairs rooms.

11:45 a.m.

Head back to work for an important candidate interview.

The Chaos Continues In the Afternoon

4:00 p.m.

Regrouped, finished my day grabbed my daughter from school (a bit early) and went to my gym (which conveniently has a salon) for a 4:15 p.m. pedicure. The gym has a kid area with trained professionals so I drop off my little one there, head up for a much needed pedi (and believe me, given my day I seriously considered cancelling the appointment)

6:00 p.m.

Get home with Harper and make dinner for everyone (my husband has a soccer game this night). Then get Harper ready for her 6:55 p.m. swim lesson.

6:25 p.m.

Get on the road, get to the pool and I get a skinny 30 minute swim workout while she is having her lesson (so cute).

7:30 p.m.

Get showered and cleaned up. Get Harper in her PJ’s and head to the cafe for a huge chocolate chip cookie. This is our tradition after swim lesson we always get the big cookie.

8:00 p.m.

Head home and get Harper to bed, which involved brushing teeth, final potty try, reading three to four books, and getting her down. The whole process is about an hour. By this time it’s 9:15 p.m., which is actually pretty good for me to be basically done with everything.

9:15 p.m.

So now it’s evening. And unlike the Henry Hill character in Goodfellas, I am not being taken off to jail but I have a nice glass of wine in front of me, a bit of energy to write and pretty toes.

Wrapping It Up

I  know so many other amazing women and men who find creative ways to synthesize life. My best friend’s sister once took an Uber car from a work meeting to meet an ambulance in route with her son, who had just had an accident on the playground. Now that’s impressive! (and a topic for a future post).

The key for me is to let the day flow and try not to stress. As long as you get to those key things (that only you can do) taken care off, it’s okay. You will find others can pick up the slack, like partners, kids and co-workers. We are all in this together.

Have you had a “Henry Hill” day lately?

I am sure others could learn from your experience of how you handled it.